Thursday, January 12, 2012

Warning: Infertile Inside

Today I had my Clomid check (check for cysts and get progesterone drawn) with my Ob/Gyn.  I think every single pregnant lady or new mom with their baby decided to make an appointment on the same day as me.  Normally I'm fine with seeing the occassional pregnant patient in the office, as I know it's bound to happen in an Ob/Gyn's office.  But seriously, every.single.patient. today was knocked up.  Ouch. 

And even that wouldn't be so bad, except I sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes before I finally got called back.  And in that time a dozen pregnant women were called back while I sat....and waited...and waited...and waited.  I felt like a leper.  I felt like I was low on the priority list just because I wasn't pregnant.  I can picture the receptionists conversation now:  "Who is that patient out there still waiting?  Oh, she's an infertile?  Well, she can wait then." 

I know that's not how it is at all.  There are 5 physicians in this practice so I'm sure I was just the lucky one who's doctor was running behind.  But still, it made me feel really crappy.  When I show up they should hang a sign on the door that reads:  'Warning: Infertile Inside, Pregnant Women Enter at Your Own Risk.'  

The other thing that stung today was the conversation I had with Dr. C.  We were talking about how many cycles of Clomid we'll try, etc.  She said something to the effect of:  "Once we get you ovulating you seem to not have a problem getting pregnant - it's the staying pregnant part that is an issue now."

Gulp.  I know all this, believe me I do.  But it was the first time I've actually heard my doctor say it out loud to me.  Staying pregnant is an issue.  I guess I expected my doctor to be the optimistic one that would say having two miscarriages in a row was normal and something she saw all the time.  But no, it's an issue for my doctor just as much as it's an issue with me.  Sigh.

On a good note, I'm pretty sure I did finally ovulate last week (on CD17 nonetheless - that's good right?!).  I know I've said it before but I'm going to say it again, I'm in love with the 2WW (two week wait).  It's 1,000 times less stressful than waiting to ovulate.  I really do want to thank everyone for their comments on my Mid-Cycle Freakout post.  I helps so much to know I'm not crazy and that everyone else has felt that way at some point in their journey.  I feel so lucky to have "met" all of you.  This blogging community is so amazing. 


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