Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Testing Tomorrow...

I'm planning on testing tomorrow (I'll be 12dpo) but I have a really strong feeling it's going to be negative.  The two times I've been pregnant I had an intuition leading up to testing that I was pregnant (I got a BFP at 11dpo both times).  This time, my intuition tells me I'm not.  And I'm lacking the one and only symptom I had those times before:  extreme thirst.  I know it sounds silly, but that's how I knew I was pregnant both times before - I was extremely thirsty for a couple days before I tested.  Right now I could care less if my water glass is empty.

I'm trying to brace for the lack of second line, but I know it's going to hurt.  I feel like we really made an effort this cycle and had really good timing, and I'm afraid it's all been for nothing and we'll have to do it all over again in a couple weeks.  I realize this is only our second cycle of trying again, but as each cycle goes by with a BFN, I get more and more scared that this might not ever happen again for us, or the means to get pregnant again might be a little more involved than simply popping 5 Clomid pills each cycle. 

I guess it's out of my control.  Part of me feels so strongly that I'm not pregnant that I don't want to even bother wasting a test.  But....I have to start progesterone suppositories as soon as I get a BFP, so I hate to wait to test and put off starting the progesterone that much longer.  So, either way I feel forced to test.  If it's negative, at least I can start mentally moving on from this cycle that much sooner.


  1. Oh that is so hard. I know how you feel about wanting to just wait, but having to find out now because you're supposed to start progesterone. I hate having to put pressure on myself to test just so I know what to do with my meds, when emotionally, I'd rather just wait it out. (((Hugs))) Sending extra strength to help you get through whatever tomorrow brings!

  2. I'm hoping for the best when you test tomorrow. Know that I will be thinking of you

  3. That is such a hard feeling! I will be thinking of you though these next few days! I know everyone's situation is different- but when I FINALLY after 7 years got my first and only BFP I didn't believe it- I felt like I had no symptoms at all and there was no possible way! I understand feeling the need to protect yourself from heartache though. :( Good luck to you tomorrow.

  4. I was very thirsty at the beginning of my pregnancy too, but I hear the symptoms can be different each time. It's hard to know for sure.
    Just get it over with is what I say. You have more strength than I do, I would be testing already. :)