Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Hopeful Optimism

I actually feel hopeful and optimistic for once. 

We had our follow-up appointment with the RE yesterday, and things could not have gone any better.  I had a SIS (saline infusion sonogram) done and my uterus looks perfect.  Our karyotyping came back normal on both of us.  So this puts our recurrent losses as unexplained, and likely just a random chromosome issue. 

So what's our plan from here?  Next cycle we are going to do Clomid again, but add in injectibles (Follitism) and a trigger.  The RE wants to try to increase the number of follicles/eggs, as a way to increase the odds of at least one of them being healthy and sticking around.  Ideally they want to see 2 mature follicle, and I'm going to be monitored very closely as they don't want to risk having high order multiples.  I'll also be on progesterone during the 2 week wait. 

I'm so happy, and excited about this plan.  All along I kept thinking in the back of my mind that injectibles were the next step I was hoping to take, but at the same time was also nervous about going there.  But after a quick training session on how to do the injections, it doesn't seem like it's going to be that big of a deal.  I'll be using the Follitism Pen, and the needle is way shorter than I anticipated.

I saw a different RE than I did last time, and I really liked this one a lot.  He explained things in a way that made sense, and I agree 100% with his approach.  His bedside manner was awesome.  I think with this clinic you never know who you're going to see, but I hope I get to work with this doctor a lot more - well, not too much more but you know what I mean ;) 

I'm so happy I made this move, as they are already doing so much more than my ob/gyn would have.  The words she said to me, "a RE wouldn't do anything differently than what I'm doing" still rings in my head.  Every time they ask me at this office if I want a copy of my records sent to my ob/gyn I always say no.  I'm not sure how to answer that because I still haven't decided if I'll eventually go back to her or not.

One thing I'm most excited about with this plan is ditching the BBT and OPKs.  I've always hated those stupid OPKs anyway, the damn things rarely gave me a positive.  Even though we're doing more as far as fertility treatments go, I feel there's going to be way less stress and pressure on my part.  I feel like all I have to do is show up for monitoring appointments, take the medications when they tell me to, have sex when they tell us to, and let them worry about the rest.  I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

One thing that was very strange for me yesterday was having the ultrasound done.  This was the same place I had to go to have the NT Scan done where we found out about our second loss.  It was the first ultrasound I've had where there was no baby to look at, only an empty ute.  Leading up to the ultrasound my nerves were a wreck with anticipation, as I'm use to bracing myself for the bad news of not seeing a heartbeat.  When I realized what I was doing and that I didn't have to worry about that this time, I almost had to laugh at myself for being so crazy.  

The RE did discuss using IVF with pre-implantation genetic screening for unexplained RPL.  (side note: he volunteered this information without me having to ask about it - what a novel idea!)  He said there are only a few clinics in the country that endorse this, and their particular clinic does not.  He explained the reasons why, reasons which I understand and respect.  If we still keep getting the same outcomes, however, this is something they will consider down the road. 
So for the first time in a long time I'm hopeful again.  I feel so great about this plan and already sense good things happening for us in the near future.  We'll get started as soon as my period shows it's face again, which with me who knows when that will be.  Surprisingly I'm okay with waiting for that to happen whenever it happens.  I'm looking forward to just enjoying the start of summer with Jeff over the next several weeks, sans fertility treatments.  I feel like our time will come eventually, and for once I'm patient enough to wait for it.       


  1. Yay for hope and optimism! Things that are easily lost in IF world. I'm so glad you decided to move onto an RE. This sounds like a great plan. Fingers crossed for you!

  2. Wonderful news and wonderful outlook. I am so glad you are on the path to where you want to be. I wish you all the luck in the world.

  3. What a great plan! I feel so much better having one too! Don't you wish you could just get started now?

  4. I'm so happy that you made the switch to a RE. Good luck!

  5. I'm so glad you like the new RE. All this relaxing and being hopeful will get you knocked up without you even realizing it. Isn't that how it works? :) Congrats. Kick that other OB to the curb. She stresses me out and I don't even know her.

  6. I'm thinking good thoughts for you - even your writing seems very hopeful and positive! Hopefully you'll have a fantastic summer.

  7. So happy to hear you like your new RE. What were their reasons for not offering pgd? My clinic strongly suggested it for us ( also unexplained rpl) but I wasn't ready for ivf yet.

    A crappy ob isn't worth the energy. You need someone who's on your team 100 percent.

  8. what a beautiful and inspiring post, jenny! i'm SO happy to hear that the appointment went so well and you loved your RE's approach and bedside manner...that's so important.
    when you mentioned being back at the u/s screen i got teary eyed, bc i know exactly what you mean. it is so emotional.
    i was thinking about you on my drive home and told myself i had to come and see how you were doing. so glad that things are looking great! i'm very exciting for you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers <3

  9. Jenny, I'm thinking of you today and each day...praying for all things good. And looking forward to the months ahead on your journey.
    Sending lots of love