My One and Only Complaint Post

Even infertiles and those with multiple losses are allowed one pregnancy complaint post, right?  Okay, well here's mine.

This is getting hard.  Like, really hard.  Like, really, really hard.  A month ago I was laughing this pregnancy in the face at how easy this pregnancy had been.  I would read other moms of multiples posts about how hard it was and took such a toll on their body.  A month ago I was still feeling pretty good and didn't think that would happen to me.  I was wrong.  Dead wrong.

I've gotten to the point where I feel like I can't do anything.  Standing on my feet for more than 5 minutes kills my back, feet, and any other body part you could think of.  Unfortunately, I can't just lay around all day.  I still need to get up, get ready for work, make dinner (sometimes), and make sure the dishes don't pile up too high. 

Jeff and I went to the mall last weekend and I became THAT woman.  You know the one - the fat, pregnant woman who needs to stop and sit down for a few minutes and rest because walking through the mall wipes her out that much.  Embarrassing.  I told Jeff that was our last trip to the mall until these kiddos get here.  And I meant it. 

Oh, and aside from the aches, pains, swelling and fatigue, sleep has become a total joke.  I'm lucky if I get a few hours worth of sleep at night.  My pattern lately has been:  get a couple hours of sleep, wake up having to pee and being super uncomfortable in bed, somehow mange to roll myself out of bed and hit the bathroom, proceed to the recliner and bundle up in blankets, and sit there.  And sit.  And sit.  If I'm lucky I'll fall back asleep there for another couple hours until the alarm finally goes off.  Last night took the cake though - a whole 30 minutes of sleep was had between 1:00am and 6:00am.  Good times.

I've also gone into full panic mode the last couple days and have realized there is still SO much left to do.  All of a sudden I feel so unprepared.  I had a dream the other night that I went into labor and my hospital bag wasn't packed and my camera battery wasn't charged.  Cue panic immediately upon waking the next morning. 

The crummy thing is though that I have no energy to get anything done that needs to be done.  And now I'm kicking myself for waiting this long to do it.  I guess that's what being pregnant after 3 losses does to a person.  It turns their procrastination switch on full blast.  Why plan too far ahead when you don't feel like you have a guarantee that everything will ultimately be okay? 

I know everything will work out.  Babies don't need much in the beginning, and Target is just a few minutes away if we do forget anything.  And I know all the pains are going to be worth it the second these babies come into this world.  I'm getting really anxious to meet them - which I'm sure is partly to do with how I'm feeling.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my doctor will at least discuss an induction date at my appointment next week.  I feel like unless I have a final end date in mind, these last few weeks are going to drag on and feel neverending.  A date on the calendar would give me something to look forward to, and to know that this isn't going to last forever. 

In an effort to try not to be a complete Negative Nancy I try to look for the positive, and last night I found it.  Laying awake half the night gives me that many more hours in the day to feel these little ones movin' and shakin' in there :)



 

Shower

I apologize for being absent the last few weeks.  All is still well, I just haven't been able to muster up the energy in the evenings to come down to the computer and write a post (I really need to catch up with the 21st Century and get a laptop).  But tonight I have a little surge of energy, and am getting some laundry done and finally getting some photos uploaded to the computer. 

My shower was this past weekend, hosted by my mom and Jeff's sister.  They did a really great job!  It was a "Two Peas in a Pod" theme, and turned out really cute.  We just had it at our house, in our basement.  It was a central location for everyone that came, and I'm secretly relieved I didn't have to travel.  I've read on multiples message boards that you should have your shower sooner rather than later because of how exhausting it can be, and I can see why.  33 weeks probably wasn't the ideal time, but the holidays interfered with having it any sooner.  But, I survived, had fun, and received a lot of great stuff for the babes!

(the cupcakes were seriously too cute to eat)

 

 

 

In other baby news, I had an appointment this week and everything went well.  The growth ultrasound has Baby Girl's weight estimated at 4lb, 7oz and Baby Boy's weight at 4lb, 11oz.  I'm always amazed how much they grow from month to month.  It makes me feel relieved at this point that they are at a good weight if something were to happen.  My doctor decided for me to start having weekly NSTs from here on out, and everything checked out well with my first one this week.  I wish I had known that ahead of time and brought a book along with me.  It made for a pretty boring 45 minutes! 

 

Still no talk of a specific induction date.  He didn't bring it up, and I didn't ask.  I will for sure ask him when I see him again - I'm getting anxious to meet these little ones!

 

I'll leave you with my 32 week bump pic.  I have to say I'm starting to feel like a huge beached whale.  I don't think I look that bad until I see a picture of myself and then I cringe a little.  I'm starting to think everyone is lying to me and just trying to be nice when they say how great I look :) 

 

More ramblings to come soon....I promise.